The reason the Christian life is challenging for many of us is because we have still elected SELF to be in charge.
Our American version of Christianity reinforces the idea that it’s every man for himself, that you are in charge of your own peace, that it’s a dog eat dog world, and you gotta look out for number one.
Jesus preaches the exact opposite: that in order to find your life, you have to lose it. In order to be first, you have to be last. In order to be great, you have to be small.
You can’t have it both ways. You can’t follow Jesus and let SELF lead. Once you signed up for this thing, you forfeited your rights to be in charge.
The internal tug of war and struggle comes when we fail to fully surrender to his Lordship. Following Jesus doesn’t mean we go to church and host a small group, it means we fully surrendered ownership of our lives to him.